A man and his wife were feuding at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. After a week of no communication, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight. He was furious as he threw off the covers to see why his wife hadn’t woke him up. Then he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
(MEN JUST AREN’T EQUIPPED FOR THESE SORT OF CONTESTS)
Seriously, no human benefits from these silly games.
Communication is vital to any relationship.
In my book “How to Live with Your Kids When You’ve Already Lost Your Mind,” I titled one of the chapters. “No news is bad news.” Meaning, even communication that reveals what you don’t want to hear is better than no communication at all.
When communication stops, that’s when bad things happen. How silly to stop talking to someone you love in a vain attempt to win a point. Even if you win, you lose.
Silence kills relationships.
Communication is road to conflict resolution.
It can be painful. It requires humility. It is difficult. It is worth it.
Are you giving someone the silent treatment hoping to demonstrate some victory of willpower? I speak with authority because I am an expert at this game. Playing the game requires a big dose of pride and in my case there is a fairly good helping of stupidity mixed in.
If you love someone, Lighten Up! Open the lines of communication. Let the healing begin.
Do you agree or disagree?
How do you open lines of communication when you are angry or disappointed?
Your story helps us be better parents, spouses, and friends.
Comments
You just have to start. Waiting for the perfect moment, or the perfect words doesn’t work.
https://forthisisthetime.com
Great point, Esther! Just do it! Trying speaks volumes.
Effective communication takes constant work and requires humility. Love the illustration!
Thank you Julie, you are right. Love is work isn’t it?
Communication is sooooooooooo very hard between any two people…especially husband and wife. We need to be humble, good listeners, forgive, and as you say “lighten up”. You have awesome teaching on how to communicate better! And we all do need to laugh more! Thanks for all you do Ken!!
Goog advice Marty
Ken, as a single mom to a 17 year old son who has Asperger’s disorder…when he and I get into a disagreement and he is being non communicative I usually say a line from one of your videos or one of the John Wayne or other movies we have watched many times. Sometimes he does it first. Usually I’ll see a grin and then we’ll both share a giggle/grin with each other. One of our favorite lines usually revolves around going somewhere the other one doesn’t want to go to….like school…I’ll do the line by Gimling(sp) the Dwarf in Lord of the Rings…”Small chance of success, certainty of death…what are we waiting for?!”. If that fails one of us will usually say “what we need here is a do over” and we go back to the point we were at before the conversation headed in the wrong direction.
Connie, Sounds like you are a very patient and loving mom. AND a good communicator.
Thanks for the encouragement! I have to tell ya I’m actually not that patient…but God is using my son to work on me. I’m a “real” person and get just as ticked off as any parent can. Keep up the good work!
my son said to tell you he’s also a big fan of yours!