You are currently browsing comments. If you would like to return to the full story, you can read the full entry here: “A Tribute to My Dad, a POW, and a Veteran of Two very Different Wars”.
You are currently browsing comments. If you would like to return to the full story, you can read the full entry here: “A Tribute to My Dad, a POW, and a Veteran of Two very Different Wars”.
Comments
Ken, I’m sorry you had to face all of that. I don’t want to fight with you but I’ll just say I didn’t hear Robertson saying the same things in that clip that you saw him say. And I despise Robertson’s positions on many many things.
Jason,
Thank you for your comment.
Ken
I love that story! I don’t know anyone with that disease but can imagine it is pretty painful to watch a person forget but I think it’s amazing to watch people love them still the same. Thank you for sharing this!
Laura, I look forward to seeing my dad again. Thank you for your comment.
Ken
I was horrified by his statement. My grandmother suffered for eight years from the disease, passing away when she was 94. My devoted grandfather chose to move into her care facility to be with her. All my years growing up, they had a ritual. They had owned a small general country store for decades and every night before bed, they would share a Hershey chocolate bar. Even in the care facility and even though my grandmother could no longer communicate, she looked for my grandfather to bring and share that treat every night. he was 97 when she passed away, and everyone always remarked about the love and devotion between the two. To me, that is love and what the marriage vows and God’s love is all about. I miss them both.
Helga,
Thank you for your touching comment.
Ken
That is the sweetest story…
Amen & Amen! I was flabbergasted to read mr robinsons reaction
Thank you Misty
Ken
My Granma didn’t have Alz. But she had dementia after having a stroke during a medicine induced coma. She saw cats on her bed&walls, she saw bugs, she accused family members of crimes they hadn’t done. It was so sad, understatement. She lost the use of her arms & legs because of the stroke, paralyzed from the neck down. My mother and uncle had to make sad and difficult decisions for her care. We even found abuse going on by the hands of the nurses to patients, not just my Granma. She had been sick for a long time but the dementia was in the last few months of her life. I miss my Granma. She lived with me before she got sick. When she passed, my house was never the same. Buy living with her gave me the privilege of many deep & cherished conversations. It was those times that kept me going in the harder end days. I Love You Granma Carol and miss you so!!! Thanks for posting Ken!
Misty, Your grandmother was lucky to have a loving granddaughter like you. ‘
Ken
I’m stunned at Robertson’s comment. Larry did not have Alzheimer’s, but the brain cancer did affect him in similar ways, albeit much faster. There were times after his surgeries when he did not know who he was, or who I was. Each time I would carefully walk him through the timeline of his life, helping him to connect the dots of his past to join with the confusion of his present. Each time my heart broke into a million pieces, not for myself, but for my wonderful husband who was trapped inside the shell of his broken body and fragile threads of memory. In the end he could not speak, he could not move the right half of his body, he could not care for any part of his needs. I fed him, I bathed him, I sang Amazing Grace to him while he fought seizures and comforted him after they were over. I KNOW he was still in there. The day he died I was sitting with him, quietly talking about how we had met, chuckling one more time over his pick up line, “smell my neck”. Thanking him for the honor of being his wife. Expressing to him again the depth of my love for him. As I talked, a single tear rolled down his cheek.
I would gladly have cared for him as long as the Lord gave me the privilege of doing so. I cannot fathom how anyone could even consider walking away from their spouse when they are needed the most. The body and mind may be broken, but the spirit and soul are very much inside!
Shelly, Knowing your story makes me appreciate your comment even more. Thank you for sharing your story.
ken
Well done thy good and faithful servant!!!
Even on the cross Jesus did not forget us!!While dying he asks, “Father, forgive them. They know not what they are doing.”
Thank you, Renee!
Ken
My grandmother suffered a stroke 3 years ago. For over two years she lived in a nursing home because her needs were greater than the family could meet. But one of her children visited her almost every day. Her girls would fix her hair and do her nails. And sit with her. And talk with her. And wait for those occasional moments when she was herself for a bit.
My grandpa would get gussied up every other day to go to town and see her. Like courting, again. 🙂 Sometimes she was articulate and seemed to know what was going on and sometimes not. But there was a special tenderness between them. Always.
I have sweet memories of sitting in a sunny courtyard with her and my mom and my son, singing old hymns. She never forgot the songs. Funny, that. It was the last time I saw her before she went to be with Jesus.
If love is only about receiving and having our own needs met, it makes sense to leave someone who doesn’t know us. Or someone who fails us, for that matter. Or just isn’t enough any more. But if love is about caring for another, about giving our life to them, then it seems to me the real loving starts when it becomes difficult.
I am grateful for my mom and her sisters, and for my grandfather, who showed me what that looks like.
Thank you for this.
Sheila,
You are welcome. And thank YOU for sharing the story of your grandmother and grandfather. What this generation needs is people who show them “What love looks like”
Ken
Sheila,
My husband never forgot the words to the praise songs he loved so much either. Even when he could no longer talk, he could still listen to his songs and sing along. Perhaps that is God’s gentle way of allowing our spirit to worship Him in spite of a broken vessel. Your grandparents are an inspiration!!
Shelley
Shelley,
I have an idea you are right.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful love story with us. And for embracing those last days for the gift they were and not as burden. How lovely that your husband was able to share those difficult moments with the bride of his youth, she who had known his triumphs, as well. It is as it should be. I hold you in the highest esteem.
Shelia
My Dear Friend,
Thanks so much for sharing this wonderfully sweet story!
<3
You’ve made me cry. Thank you for sharing your poignant story, sharing your dad with us. My grandfather had Alzheimer’s. I’ve asked myself, in my own marriage, “Would I divorce my husband if he became disabled? Alzheimer’s? A terminal disease?” Of course the answer is no.
The age-old question might apply here – What would Jesus do?
Flea, We know what Jesus would do. It proved it on the cross. Thank you for your comment.
Ken
My dad had Alzheimer’s and my mom did what your mom did. Taking care of him at home until we had to find professionals to care for him. We found a wonderful home with loving caregivers for him. Mom visited him everyday. They had known each other since she was 15, he was 18. He went home with the Lord, Thanksgiving 2002 – 5 days before his 90th birthday. Mom & Dad had been married 66 years. Thank you, Ken for writing this. You responded for all of us.
Diana,
I hope to post the letters from the VA hospital caregivers who took care of my dad. They were wonderful. Thank you for your kind comment.
Ken
Hi Ken –
Thanks for your post! It brought back a great lesson I learned years ago….
When one of my cousins was in the last stages of brain cancer, he called me aside one day and said “Honey, I want to talk with you. Right now I can talk and understand – and I want YOU to understand where I am. I know your name, but I can’t say it. If I try, it comes out “Chair” and I know that’s not it. Sometimes I can speak and people can understand me. Like now. Sometimes I speak, knowing that I’m making sense – and to everyone else it sounds like jibberish. Sometimes when people talk with me I can understand everything they say. Sometimes it’s as if they are speaking in a foreign language and I can only look at them blankly. But I’m still in here. I want you to know what’s happening inside me. I know you pray for me. Thank you. And I know that God is with me and loves and understands me every minute – even when nobody else does.” That was the last time that he was able to verbalize fully. Shortly thereafter, his mode of communication was to blink replies with his one good eye and to twitch his finger as I held his hand. He was imprisoned by a body and mind that would no longer work as he wanted them to.
That lesson has served me well through the years as I have spent time with people dealing with Alzheimers and dementia as well as brain tumors. Sorry to disagree with you, Mr. Robertson – but they ARE in there!
Thanks again, Ken! And thanks for being there!!!
Gloria, I loved your story. Are you perhaps the Gloria I knew from years ago in Virginia Minnesota? Either way thank you for your wonderful story and your comment.
KEn
That would be me! I’m glad we can still be in touch!
Gloria,
Thank you for sharing your story. All I can say is “Exactly”!
Shelley
Ken! Thanks so much for sharing this! My heart is deeply touched! Shame on Pat Robertson!
Ken,
So very true. So very well said. I’m very disappointed that Mr. Robertson could say such a thing. Because we are created in the image and likeness of God, we have the honor to care for one another. Not because it’s fun or easy, but because it is a privilege and because so many others have cared for us.
Thanks be to God!
Ken, I am sorry your dad suffered with Alzheimers.
We have family members who have suffered also, as well as family members with physical disabilities.
Honestly, when I heard what Mr. Robertson said, I was shocked, and then I got to thinking. He is well into his 80’s. I wonder if he isn’t suffering some sort of dementia too?
I saw this posted on someone’s FB page and I wrote: I have actually seen some circumstances where someone had a spouse in a nursing home for many years – the one with Alzheimer’s didn’t know them anymore and they had become close to a neighbor or another person of the opposite sex. There were all sorts of bad feelings about it from family members and I’ve seen where both of those people have come into the nursing home to take care of the sick spouse. It really upset me what Pat said but I am hoping that he said it because of a situation he may be aware of like that. When I watched it looked like he was speaking from a sad place. Still not a good excuse because of who he is…..It’s just such a personal and different story for every family who suffers with this horrible disease. Since I work with so many seniors I have seen so many things….
Ken,
People don’t understand sometimes what it’s like and what people go through when family members have this disease. I worked in a Assisting Living for Alzeimer Patients for a few years, one of my hardest jobs. I saw both ends of the spectrum with family members, I saw family member who came to visit every day at the same time. I saw a husband who actually asked to stop feeding there wife because it was “her time”, he would maybe come to visit on holidays if that. He did not know her anymore. Family would say “they don’t remember me”, but infact they do remember you they just don’t recognize you at the present time, they ask for you all the time, but they have memories of different times and at some point they may stop talking, but it does not mean they are not there!
Ken,
Could anything express more clearly your dad’s character and integrity, than that his family loved him and honored him all the way through such painful suffering until Jesus took his hand?
God bless you and your family for the way you loved your Dad. And thanks for sharing with us part of your story.
Trey
I am sort of wondering if maybe Pat isn’t having some dementia issues himself. I can not imagine anyone thinking that this would be ok. The smile on your dad’s sweet face does say it all. Even though he may not have been aware he was content. Great picture. I am one of those Iron Rangers who was in Youth For Christ a million years ago when you were on the Iron Range. Saw you when you were in Virginia too for the veteran’s memorial concert. Love hearing your Lighten Up and Live segments and cds. God bless you and yours.
Ken,
I agree wholeheartedly with you. If you haven’t see it yet check out the name Robert McQuilken on You Tube. My father-in-law carried his wife of 63 years(she didn’t know him) to the shower the day before the Lord took her home. I cared for my wife for three years before ALS took her home to Jesus. Sickness & health. I believe Alzheimers is a sickness.Looking forward to seeing you October 6th for some much needed laughter.
Hey Ken, thanks for posting I have tears in my eyes as I read this as my grandmother died of this horrible disease! I watched her from shortly after being diagnosed where she occasionally knew who others were. Then go to thinking I was my mom or my aunt, to not really knowing me at all. The hardest thing to go thru. My husband and I were able to visit her just days before she drew her last breath and I promise u Ken, she knew I was there! She was on deaths door for a week, the dr had told her caregiver, a dear family member, that she would pass within just days I was afraid my hubby and I weren’t going to make it before she passed. But she hung on til I could say goodbye! I could never have walked away and said she’s not my grandma anymore!!! I’ll never forget that last moment God gave us with her!!!
Stacie
I think that Pat needs to watch, “The Note Book”. That is a story about true love. That man told the same story every day to his wife in hopes that something would jog her memory and it did for a few minutes. But what Pat said about divorcing a spouse that has Alzheimer’s disease is like just throwing your marriage of sometimes 50 years or more in the trash.. Well I think not!! I love my husband and regardless of what our future is I will stand by him.. Does Pat have some other wedding vows than the rest of the world? It clearly says in sickness and health!!! Well I don’t understand?? This message that he is sending out will surely confuse the non believer or the new believer.. I would like to think that he was confused and said the wrong thing by mistake.. We need to pray for him!!!
I remember right before my Dad was diagnosed with brain tumors and alzeimers. We were standing in his front yard and he said “Sharon Lee getting old sucks”. lol I told him it’s better than the alternative. My Dad was a Sgt in the Marine corp and these diseases took his dignity away. He was ALWAYS there for me through my life and why wouldn’t his children be there for him. In the last months of his life he thought I was my Mother or his nurse and then he didn’t even acknowledge I was there. Does that mean we should have left him to strangers. NO it doesn’t. I slept in the hospital bed with my Dad the last night and at 5:30 I woke up and knew it was time. We all gathered around the bed and I talked to him. I told him he would finally get to hold that baby he never saw take a breath and would be with my Momma again and best of all he would be with our father. He had two big fat tears come down his face. This is a man who had gone into a coma the last two days but he was still there inside that body. Til death do us part means when we take our last breath and not when it pleases us. They don’t want to be in this condition any more than we want them to. God bless them all. Thank you for your post Ken. I never thought I would here words come out of a Pastors mouth like that. God bless you and your family.
Ken, This story is a real tear jerker. I can’t say I know exactly what you went through, but I can relate my grandma also was a victim of this horrible disease. It is a very hard thing to go through, and no matter if she knew who I was she was still my dear grandma. She was so precious to me… Now my mom seems to be showing signs of it, I fear that so much. I find it absolutely beautiful though how the husband went and saw his wife each day at the nursing home, I saw a movie like that once, and I know my husband is that kind of man if that were to happen to me he would do the same, what a blessing it is to know you have that kind of love. God Bless you Ken, and thank you for sharing.
This touched me so and I pray that Mr. Robertson never has to deal with what you and your family did. The next time you see your Dad he will be whole.
God bless,
Lynn-CUNDAIR
I wrote about this also…so disappointing…
Thank you for sharing this candid post.
Kathy @A Gentle Answer Ministries
https://agentleanswer.blogspot.com/2011/09/we-dont-say-shut-up-at-our-house.html
Alzheimer’s disease changes some things, but it doesn’t take away the value of a soul. As a young woman, I’ve already known several people with Alzheimer’s. The two that have impacted me most are a dear woman whom I’ll call Betty, and my grandpa.
Whenever my sister and I visited the nursing home to play harp for the residents, we always saw Betty. No longer the sweet-spirited woman from our church, she was lost in her own world. She recognized no one, not even her husband or children. People said she was gone; some told her husband to divorce her. After so many years, she didn’t even talk anymore. One day, however, as I talked to her and rubbed her shoulders, Betty clearly said, “I…love…you.” That was and continues to be the only time she’s spoken in many years. But it showed me that the real person was still inside.
My grandpa’s battle with Alzheimer’s began when I was a toddler, so we didn’t have a normal relationship. He never recognized me, but always politely asked my name and tried to carry on a conversation. When I was in high school, Grandpa fell and lost his ability to walk. After a brief time in the nursing home, he came to live with my family, where we cared for him during his final weeks of life. By then, the disease had taken away his memory to a point where he only recognized my grandma, but it didn’t change the person he was. He had two loves: Jesus and Grandma. That left a definite imprint on me and made me wonder, if I were to someday lose all memory and ability to care for myself, would I be as gracious as he was? Would I live in a way that people still saw a love for Christ?
Alzheimer’s may rob people of their memories, but it can never take away their value as a human being. Shame on anyone who believes that having Alzheimer’s means someone is no longer there! My generation needs to hear more stories like yours, so we do not erroneously believe opinions like Pat Robertson’s.
Wow! Thank you so much for posting this. Alzheimer’s seems to constantly thread it’s way through my life. I worked in the Activities Dept. on an Alzheimer’s Unit for over 5 years; counseled friends who had a family member diagnosed. Watched my maternal grandmother slowly slip away with this horrible disease; and now my father has been diagnosed with early dementia. Am I next? Loooved the story. Each person, whether they were/are part of my family or the residents I was with on the unit, was/is special!!! They don’t need to know who I am. It saddens me. But what joy in knowing them and giving them the love they all deserve.
Oh thank you, thank you, thank you Ken for this. I have been so upset…angry…since reading about Pat Robertson’s response about Alzheimer’s patients. I took care of my grandmother for 3.5 years of her 8 year battle. She had no clue who I was, but she remains the greatest person I have ever shared life with, and my hero.
As a young person who is chronically ill with systemic disease, I have already been through a divorce…mistreated and eventually abandoned by my husband for another woman. I honestly cannot fathom God justifying this act in any way, shape, or form. I’ve felt the urge to lash out against Pat Robertson for the terribly wrong things he has said, but your words couldn’t be more appropriate and respectable. Thank you for restoring my hope in mankind. I will be sharing your blog.
God bless,
Kelli
I didn’t hear what Pat said, but sure do recognize when offended Christians react, judge and throw Bible verses around. It’s funny how we are quick to judge another while remaining blind to our own blunders. I am certain that the one thing we have in common is at least once in our lifetime, we have been misunderstood or said or written something that hurts another and that we regret. When this happens, hopefully, we will have Christ followers in our lives who will forgive and offer us grace.
Ken, that was one of the best blogs and stories I have read in awhile. You are exactly correct in saying we should not leave those with Alzheimer’s behind. I work as an EMT. Several years ago I was on a patient transfer from the hospital going back home to the nursing home. Our patient was much like you described your father. He did not even know who his children were. His wife, it just so happened, was a patient in the ER. When we rolled him through the ER on our way to our ambulance, we stopped so he could say goodbye. He pulled her close to the cot, held her tight the best he could, kissed her and told her not to worry that she would be okay. In the midst of not knowing anything else, he knew to love her and comfort her despite anything that may be happening to him. It was probably the greatest act of love I have ever seen first hand. However, what could be more Biblical than to love someone like that? To the point that it literally just comes naturally. I don’t think God has us pour our selves into people with Alzheimer’s just for their benifit, but for ours as well. Thanks for sharing!
Ken
Thank you. You said it better than I could ever have. No matter where Memory Disorders take us God will still remember us and Jesus will always be walking by our side gently guiding us to where we need to go.
You know my situation and the path that it will take my body and mind. I cannot find the words to express my feelings of the concept of divorce because your spouse has alzheimers.
This blog has only strengthen God’s resolve to have me teach people about LIVING with a memory disorder.
I now understand why Jesus Wept
Ken, what a beautiful, grace-filled response. Thank you for sharing the beautiful pictures of your father.
Thank you Ken for speaking up for those affected by this horrible disease. As one with personal experience in having cared for a mother-in-law in the late stages of dementia and now as a director of an Alzheimer’s assisted living community, I too strongly believe these dear ones need our love and their personal dignity to the very end. God gives us this responsibility and privilege.
I too lost my dad to Alzheimers and I agree with you. Don’t understand why Mr. Robertson would make that statement. I feel for all who have to go through losing a loved one this way.
Wow… well said….and done in loving and honoring your father well. Brings to mind the Dr Seuss book/movie “Horton Hears a Who.” A line that resonates and challenges our ability to perceive the whole truth about everything in general…”We are here, we are here, we are here…”
Saddened to hear Mr Robertson’s position… roots of the same thinking that allows genocide, abortion… viewing humans as less than human. Disturbing
I hope that if I ever have Alzheimers that the husband who has loved me and stood by me would continue to do so, for Christ’s sake and because of the vows he took before God the day we married. My Alzheimer’s is not a breaking of my vows and I do not believe gives permission for my husband to break his. I hope, should my husband ever suffer from Alzheimers, that I would not abandon him, but that instead I would love him with the love of Christ and remain true. This is an opportunity to serve my God and delight His heart by serving and ministering to my husband — weather he lives with me or in a home where he could be better cared for. Love never fails — when I love, regardless of whether that love, or I for that matter, is recognized by the loved one or not, God does not let that love fall to the ground. Love always bears fruit in the eyes of God. Pat Robertson may approve of divorce on the grounds of Alzheimers, but God doesn’t and I am pretty sure God’s view trumps Pat Robertsons. My heart breaks to think that those of us who love Christ could be encouraged to abandon those who Christ’s heart is tender toward and who need that love, expressed through us, so badly — whether they know it or not. Debbie
I agree with you, Ken. Joe and I were horrified at this statement by Pat Robertson. We respect your loyalty and love for your father which have been shown many times on your website and in the honor which you gave him at the benefit in Virginia, Mn for the Veteran’s Memorial. Thank you for your kind, Christian testimony.
Thank you for writing about your Dad.. When disease takes away the mind of someone we love. It is so hard.. I lost my husband and Mom 3 years ago to Cancer.. I am also a scrapbooker, (that is someone that tells stories with pictures and words). I haven’t been able to tell their stories.. I have 3 kids that need those stories.. Thank you for reminding me to never let go of them.. EVER.
In Christ,
Tonye Zapinski – Nadwornik
Alzheimer is a heavy burden to have to bear for the patient and the family going through it and my heart goes out to your family. I agree with you that God’s approach to us praise God is much better than what apparently Pat Robertson’s view is. I believe that those wedding vows we stand up before God,our family, friends to recite to our beloved soon to be spouse state until death do us part not until we head to a nursing home or suffer illness! We watched my husband’s grandpa go daily to the nursing home in the same way your family did as grandma became more and more confused with her dementia. She did know him most of the time. She rarely knew for sure which person we were but knew that we came for some reason to see her. When grandpa ended up in the nursing home with a stroke we all visited him regularly until his death even though he couldn’t speak to us. Currently grandpa’s brother is in a nursing home and had to move his wife over to the Alzheimer unit as he could not handle her himself in assisted living. He goes over to the unit daily and spends most of the day with her even though she doesn’t always know him. Those are examples of true love and devotion to one another that give us all an example to follow. That’s being Jesus with skin on as the saying goes. It’s God’s example of I’ll never leave you or forsake you.
Blessings
I can empathize because my wife is in the beginning stages of dementia and I am the main caregiver. The thing that hurts the most is the fact that other members of the family, namely some of our children often make light of the situation or sometimes make fun of her.
I wonder if, perhaps Pat Robertson is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s.
thank you for this blog. I totally agree with you. My Momma and Mother In-Law had this awful disease. My Mother In-Law did not know us by name but when we would come down the hall to visit her at the nursing home she would start yelling here they come. She knew we were someone who loved her. As this husband stated his wife no longer knew him but he knew her. It is our responseability to take care of our loved ones and love them. But so many people want to leave when the going gets tuff.I just call it selfess. It was a privilage to take care of my Daddy and Momma in their latter years and my Mother in-law. Shame shame on Pat Robertson. Thank you for your blog
Hi Ken,
It defies comprehension that Pat Robertson would say such a thing and your blog on this subject is excellent, done in a spirit of Christ’s love yet able to speak the truth of the Biblical standard of marriage. My husband and I have lost one parent to cancer, one to heart problems and one to Alzheimer’s. I do not always weep when I hear a cancer or heart story, but I always weep when Alzheimer’s is mentioned. My answer to Mr. Robertson, from my personal experience, would be that the person IS there, hidden by the disease yet able even after three years of no communication and totally bedridden to weep when her modesty was breached. And the Holy Spirit was still in her responding to Bible tapes and hymns; you could see her countenance relax and peace come to her mind.
Wonderful to see the pics of your father, Ken. What a wonderful man with such a great sense of humor even after all he had been through. Thanks!
Beautifully said!! *sniff*
Thank you for sharing your story and proofing that good strong Christian love does not change due to health issues.
My father-in-law lived with us for 19 years of our married life. We went through 3 strokes (one which paralyzed him for 9 months),skin cancer and many other medical needs. When he died it was in his own room (where he requested) with his children and myself holding his hands and me whispering to him a heartfelt Thank you for helping us raise our three children. The last several months of his life whether it be from dementia,his pain or his pain meds. he thought I was his late wife and that my sons were his boys (one of which had been killed in a car accident). I have since then taken care of his brother who had Alzheimers and now am taking care of his nephew who has recently been diagnosed with it. Alzheimers runs so strongly in my husbands family I expect my husband to have it and am appalled at the thought that someone would think that it would be okay for me to divorce him for my own selfishness.
I believe that this kind of thinking is one of the biggest reasons why the world is the way it is today. It has become accepted by the world to not honor your family or yourselves.
I for one married my husband in sickness and in health till death do us part.
Thanks Ken. You put word to this when a lot of us can not. God Bless.
I was 37 when my husband was diagnosed with Early Onset Dementia; He was only 46. I cannot imagine ever leaving him because of this awful medical condition. Our faith and relationship grows by leaps and bounds because we have a different prospective on life. We aren’t living by the world’s standard, we are learning how to live out our faith and God’s plan for us.
This road is not easy. I would never wish this on even my worst enemy. However, with the right attitude and God at our side. We are able to enjoy some amazing experiences together.
Tears stream down my face as I read this. I am do sorry Ken.
Ken,
Thanks for this post. In April I lost my father to PSP–a Parkinson’s related disease. Different from Alzheimer’s in that he never lost the ability to know his children, it still took his body and every ability he had. But he was still my father.
My mother cared for him as long as she could and then she cried like your mother when she had to find care for him. Six weeks later she died of a stroke–the time of care had wreaked havoc on her own body.
But I am thankful for parents that loved to the end. And I loved them.
Your post is wonderful and that is truly the value of each life.
Thank you for sharing those beautiful words and pictures with us. I worked at a nursing home unit for the Alzheimer patients and also lost my grandmother in February who suffered from dementia/mild alzheimers. I watched my own mother go thru the loss of ‘losing’ her mom to the disease, far before she went to Heaven. Those moments when she was ‘there’ were so blissful. My mom would tuck her in like a baby in bed and lay with her mommy and have their talks. She may not know what she ate for lunch, but she could share the stories of the old days for hours on end. Thats what we will remember. Thanks Ken.
Ken, this morning I have an appt with our local chapter of the Alzheiemers’ Assn. I live 1000 miles from my folks, but even in phone conversations nearly 2 yrs ago, I sensed my mom was “slipping”. I was home in March 2010, and had what I called my “come to Jesus” conversation. Mom and Dad are solid Christian people and reading your words about honoring parents prompted this reply. I sat down with them and said that there is no biblical age limit on honoring one’s parents. I then respectfully and firmly “encouraged” my dad to have my mom tested for Dementia and Alzheimer’s. Even then mom had an empty glaze on her face. It hurts to even remember that look. Now a year later, Mom is living with a stranger…her beloved husband of nearly 59 years. She doesn’t know who Dad is. She claims her husband left her and has never contacted her. She claims her father (who died in 1976) died just recently. Ken, you and I shared a gift of humor, and some have told me that there is humor in this disease. I am learning from my mom that we repress verbal comments as we live as adults and sometimes as we age, our inhibitions are lost and we say things we normally would never say audibly. Our world needs more compassion. Thank you for sharing such a personal and intimate side of yourself. It helps me as I go talk to the Alzheimer’s Assn this morning!